When You are feeling alone, rejected, lost and depressed …
Everyone gets lonely sometimes, but it’s hard to cope when feelings of worthlessness, grief and loneliness persist. You may begin to lose hope for the future and find it hard to enjoy any part of life. Perhaps you’ve tried and failed to find solutions, and you worry that you’ll continue to feel this sad forever. But you wont, even if this feels horrible today. The good news is, this is going to change.
Overcoming loneliness requires effort, but it is subject to change. Whether you consistently feel depressed, you’re trying to overcome loneliness for a series of reasons or you are just feeling lost at the moment, there are things you can do to improve the situation. I want to help you understand yourself better and support you while figuring out what to do, when you feel lonely and disconnected.
No matter why you feel lonely, it is possible to feel better. But this what you can do, right now, to overcome depression? You can’t fix every problem in your life overnight but you can learn to feel better today.
You can decide to build on that foundation and gradually create an everyday reality that actually feels good and right. It is already within you, to find a new sense of happiness.
Don’t be afraid of the feeling
Don’t let yourself fall into the trap of believing that loneliness is forever. You might feel lonely today, this week, or even this month, but it doesn’t mean you are alone or that you have no one who cares for you. Like all feelings, loneliness is not permanent. It does not define who you are. Accept that you feel lonely, tell God how you feel and ask Him for help, then focus on moving forward.
Maintain and develop other good relationships
If there are people in your life that you wish you were closer to, take steps to make that happen. Suggest plans, make contact, and stick to the arrangements you make. This applies just as much to family members and friends of many years, as it does to new people in your life. Do you know someone you’d like to have as a friend? Be brave enough to reach out. Often, they’ll be very glad you did.
Minimize or disconnect from social media
As noted above, social media breeds loneliness by giving you false perceptions. Instead of scrolling through images of everyone’s best selves and happiest times, take a step back from your online life for a while. Choose to look at social networks once a day, or perhaps not at all for a month. See if this makes any difference to your loneliness. Ask yourself what you can learn from this.
Refocus Your Attention
If you think about sadness and loneliness all the time, you will be sadder and lonelier. Do things that gently nudge your perspective towards the positive. Join a positive group. My prayer groups really help me look forward.
Write often in your gratitude journal
Write a line in your journal every morning, setting yourself up for a more optimistic day ahead. Simply write down 1-5 things that make you feel grateful each day. This process challenges you to find and foster the good in your life.
Enjoy Your Own Company
Sometimes, you might trick yourself into feeling lonely because you’ve internalized the message that you can only be happy if you’re with others. This isn’t true… there’s a lot of worth to enjoying your own company. Experiment with ways of having a good time alone. Take a walk in nature (studies show this boosts mood and self-esteem), create something, exercise, plan a day-trip or treat yourself to your favorite meal. You may be surprised by how much better you feel.
Call someone else and cheer them up
Don’t talk about yourself at all but focus on their life. Ask them questions and encourage them the best you know how. If possible meet for coffee. Reach out to the most unlovely as much as possible. I promise you, you will feel better than they will, at the end of giving love and care. Getting around other people at times is a wonderful way to charge your own being.
Get Out Of Your Comfort Zone
One of the best ways to combat loneliness involves trying brand new things. Whether you join a group, learn a new skill at a class or go to a club dedicated to one of your major passions, you’re opening yourself up to the chance of new good social connections. What do you have to lose? At worst, you’ll grow as a person and have new experiences under your belt. Others need you as much as you need them.
The apostle Paul stated in Philippians 3:13, …one thing I do, it is my one aspiration, I forget what lies behind and strain forward to what lies ahead. Yes, there will be opposition from the enemy, but press on.
James 1:12-13 says, Blessed (happy, to be envied) is the man who is patient under trial and stands up under temptation, for when he has stood the test and been approved, he will receive the victor’s crown of life, which God has promised to those who love Him. Let no one say when he is tempted, I am tempted from God; for God is incapable of being tempted to do what is evil. He Himself tempts no one. Verse 17 goes on to say, Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above. It comes down from the Father of all that gives light, in the shining of Jesus, Whom in, there can be no variation (rising or setting) or shadow cast by His turning, as in an eclipse.
Loving you, Dorothy M Elder
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